You may have heard of the flight or fight response, but there are actually two extra responses – freeze and fawn. Fawning is over-pleasing, over-accommodating and over-pacifying. It is actually very common, but it is at your own expense. How does this show up in sex? Learn more from Angela here!
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Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, whether personal or professional. However, the way we handle these conflicts can significantly impact the dynamics of our relationships. Many people prefer to avoid conflicts altogether under the guise of ‘choosing their battles wisely,’ but this approach often leads to resentment and dissatisfaction.
Understanding When to Choose Your Battles
Commitment to No Resentment
The first step in effectively choosing your battles is to identify issues that might lead to resentment if not addressed. For instance, if you find yourself constantly doing the dishes while your partner rarely contributes, it may seem like a minor issue initially. However, if left unaddressed, this could lead to feelings of resentment over time.
It’s essential to address such issues before they start chipping away at your happiness. However, it’s equally important to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational manner. Instead of blaming your partner, use “I” and “we” language to express your feelings and propose a solution.
Long-Term Impact
Another crucial factor to consider while choosing your battles is the potential long-term impact of the issue. Sometimes, we tend to brush off our concerns under the pretense of positivity, leading to what’s known as ‘toxic positivity.’
For instance, issues like sex and finances can significantly impact a relationship in the long run if not addressed. If you find that you and your partner are constantly on different pages regarding these matters, it’s worth addressing them. Again, the key is to approach the conversation with “I” and “we” language, focusing on your feelings and proposing a team solution.
Transforming Battles into Conversations
Non-Blaming Language
One of the most effective ways to transform battles into conversations is to use non-blaming language. Instead of accusing your partner of not contributing enough, express how you feel and propose a solution. For instance, you could say, “I feel like I’m always the one doing the dishes, and I’d like us to come up with a way to share this responsibility.”
Seeking Professional Help
If your attempts to have a conversation always end up in a battle, it might be time to seek professional help. Therapists can provide valuable insights and tools to help you communicate more effectively and resolve conflicts in a healthier way.
In conclusion, choosing your battles wisely doesn’t mean avoiding conflicts altogether. Instead, it involves identifying issues that can lead to resentment or have a long-term impact on your relationship and addressing them in a non-confrontational manner. Remember, every battle doesn’t have to end in a war. With the right approach, it can be transformed into a constructive conversation that strengthens your relationship.
