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Top Tips for Successful Online Dating

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04/29/2014 02:35 PM

Many clients tell me that their online dating ventures go awry. When asked what they did wrong, they each have similar challenges the faced. The truth is there is a good way to date online and there is a bad way. Here are a few tips for how to make the most of your own online dating experience.

1) Don't spend too much time online chatting before meeting. Online dating is meant to an avenue for you to meet a potential partner. While clients begin to experience feelings about a person prior to meeting them, you can never truly know if you have real feelings until you meet that person. You may connect with who they portray themselves to be, but you still have to fall in love with their mannerisms, the way they communicate face to face, and you have to know if there is any real spark.

The way people act in person can be completely different than who they are online. Writing gives people an easy way to filter their thoughts and really think about what they want to say. In person, that same filter is not there. A good rule is to limit your online and phone chatting to no longer than one to two weeks. This way you don't waste too much of your time or your heart with the wrong person.

2) Always meet in a public space for the first date. Since you are meeting a complete stranger, meeting in a public place ensures you are safe. While many individuals are going to be perfectly fine, it's better to be safe than sorry.

3) Pick a fun, active thing to do in your first date. Many individuals think of a typical dinner and a movie as a good first date. The trouble with this date is that you are meeting a stranger. Dinner leaves many opportunities for lulls in conversation. The movie prevents almost any opportunity to talk. Instead, opt for a fun active date such as mini-golf, hiking at a popular park, bowling, a dance lesson, etc. By choosing something active, you can fill lulls in conversation with the activity. Also, if you choose to do dinner after, then you already have a shared experience you can talk about.

4) Plan to have a good time no matter what you do. Attitidude is everything. If you go on a date with a plan to enjoy whatever comes your way, you'll always have a good date. You may not end up with the person you meet, but at least you have a good time. This accomplishes two things. First, you attract good partners by being a good person yourself. It is important to find ways to make your life fun and be present in the moment whatever the moment may be.

The second thing this accomplishes is that you don't feel like you wasted your time. I know of one client who made every date something very cool she wanted to do. One date, she went zip lining! The next date she went Scuba Diving! The next date, someone flew her out to the cornfields of Iowa! Don't assuming you will just waste your time if the date doesn't go anywhere. Instead, make it a worthwhile experience.

5) Come prepared with a few questions that are conversation starters. Do a little research and find questions or topics that will help the conversation keep going. You can ask them questions about themselves, questions about life goals, politics, or anything you can think of. Keep these questions around for any of your dates. This way, you will have more fun things to talk about.

Finally, recognize that dating is a process. You may meet "the one" the first date, but most people have to date around before they find "the one." Take it easy on yourself, and don't forget to take days that are just about you and your own self care. 

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Posted by admin VIP    0 Comment(s)    Add a Comment  comment-icon.png
04/27/2014 07:01 PM

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